


If the world was ending

by shavenbcllamy



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: 403 rewrite, Bellarke, Canon Divergence, F/M, list scene, s4 rewrite
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:54:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24994186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shavenbcllamy/pseuds/shavenbcllamy
Summary: She feels something in her stomach tingle at the feeling of his touch. They’re so dangerously close right now... He thinks it might be the alcohol, but he swears she’s leaning towards him. He considers making up a excuse to leave, but before he can finish his thought...She kisses him.——————————————————————Or, what would’ve happened if Bellamy and Clarke had a one night stand in s4.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 79





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically how I think Bellarke should’ve happened, the main plot wouldn’t have changed that much and the separation would’ve actually felt more dramatic plus it would’ve made an interesting story with Bellamy coming back to Earth in a relationship. If only J*son didn’t have a peanut brain 🙄. Also it’s my first fic it probably sucks but I needed to get it off my chest. ALSO English is not my first language so don’t be mean 😁.

The world was ending right in front of their eyes, and they were living on borrowed time. As Clarke stared at her metallic ceiling, trying to conquer sleep, she went over the scene that had just taken place in the Chancellor’s Office.

_ “Write it down. Write it down or I will.” _

The more she thought about it, the more she wanted to stand up, make her way to the office and scratch her name from the list. She didn’t deserve it. Not after all the people she had killed, not after all the suffering she had caused to others.

Sometimes she felt she couldn’t recognize herself anymore, she’d stare at the mirror and wouldn’t see a trace of the girl that she used to be on the Ark. Maybe she was too far gone, maybe she was broken beyond repair.

Bellamy on the other hand... He was good. Even though he didn’t believe it. She could see that when he chose to bring home the people from Farm Station instead of the machine. She saw it every time he had the chance to stop and help someone else, he would. Every time he’d offered to take some of the burden off her shoulders. She saw it when he would come across children, there was nothing but goodness in his heart. If anyone deserved to live, it was him. If only he could see himself through her eyes...

Sleep would not come. So she grabbed the bottle of moonshine she’d found in the Chancellor’s Office, and almost without realizing, made her way to his quarters.

——————————————————

Bellamy was once again reading the same sentence of the book in his hands. He had never found it hard to concentrate while reading, but his very loud thoughts were getting in the way tonight. He knew he wouldn’t sleep because he had already taken a nap in the Chancellor’s couch. He didn’t mean to fall asleep, he was actually there to help Clarke with the list, but her simple presence in the room was enough for him to let his guard down, and seamlessly drift off to sleep. He felt guilty when he woke up to the sight of her crying while holding the pen... It always struck him how she could look so beautiful, even when she was sad. He shouldn’t have fallen asleep. 

What was also not intentional was him leaving the room so quickly, but the contact of his hand with her cheek, and the sudden intimacy of the moment... well, it scared him.

He was going to be the best version of a friend he possibly could. He had decided that. After hearing her conversation with her mother in the Azgeda cell, he knew whatever thing his mind had produced in his spare time, it was not happening. She loved Lexa, and she was grieving. His first instinct was to simply remove himself from her, but he knew that just wasn’t possible. He needed her too much. So this was the next best thing. Perhaps if it wasn’t so goddamn painful.

A knock on the door.

“Hey.” A still a little red-eyed Clarke is standing in his doorway with something he can’t figure what is in her hands.

“Hey.” He replies with a bit of surprise in his voice. This isn’t usual. “Did something happen?”

Suddenly she feels dumb for even doing this, he was probably sleeping. “No, no. Uhm, are you busy?” As she dangles the bottle of liquor in front of his eyes.

Bellamy feels his heart miss a beat. God, he’s pathetic. But the connotation of her being in his room, even if it’s just to share a drink is not something that he’s used to. Still, he half-smiles. “Come in.”

“Couldn’t sleep either.” He says as casually as he can. 

There’s no furniture besides his bed and a desk, and Clarke is smart enough (or so she thinks) to understand the message sitting there would give. So instead, she sits on the floor, her back leaning on the edge of the bed. “Yeah, not getting much of that these days.”

She opens the bottle and takes a sip while he kneels and settles next to her. Hands him the bottle and smiles. “We never got to have that drink, remember?”

“Weren’t those simpler times...” She huffs at his joke. They were but they also weren’t. She was so sick and tired of all the impossible choices.

They sit there for a minute in silence until she says. “You think we’ll ever get to have it? Peace?” She’s taking another sip while staring at the floor.

“I... guess that depends on our definition of peace.” He says as he takes the bottle. Technically, right now they had that, ignoring the impending fire that was about to destroy everything in its path and the fact that the Ice Nation were very much eager to start a war with their remaining time, of course. “But I think we will, eventually.”

“Yeah... sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be young on Earth.” Then she realizes she _is_ young and _is_ on Earth. “You know, before. Like in the movies.” He gets what she means. “Or the books!” She says with a pitched voice while pointing to the book Bellamy was reading earlier. She might be tipsy by now. “What would you be, in that case?” She finishes.

And it’s when she asks this that he notices they’ve never quite had a conversation that isn’t centered on whatever is happening around them in a long time. For the first time, he feels shy. 

“I... I don’t know... a teacher? Maybe a history teacher... I like history.” She smiles at his answer and he hopes it’s dark enough she can’t see him blushing. “What about you?”

“Oh, you know, probably a doctor... A real one, though.” A beat. “Who knows, maybe an artist. Did you know that people could do that? Like just paint or sketch. They could study that and actually gain money from it. That sounds insane.” She’s talking a bit too fast and loud for her own liking, but it’s just something that she does when she’s tipsy.

And so, they talk and talk for the next few hours. About their earth alter egos. About memories from the drop ship. They even talk about their time on the Ark. Back to when they didn’t even know each other, and Bellamy teases her at least three times about how much of a nerd he’s sure she was. They laugh for the first time in what feels like ages, as the bottle gets emptier and emptier.

But finally, the conversation circles back to where they’re right now, and what they’re facing. 

“You probably shouldn’t have put my name in it.” Says Bellamy, when they’re once again discussing the list.

“Shut up.” Is the only thing she replies, trying to keep him from going there. He chuckles but keeps going. “It’s the truth, though. I’m not an engineer like Monty, or a doctor apprentice like you. I’m just a guard and-.”

“Just shut up.” She’s growing annoyed. “You’re so... you’re _so_ much more than that.” She says and she truly doesn’t mean to make her voice sound that deep. 

Bellamy stares for a moment, taking that in, and then shifts his gaze to floor. “Am I?”

“Yes, you are!” She starts. “This place... the things that have happened here, it would be so easy for people to just give in to the darkness, to lose their way... but somehow, you give them hope. You’ve done that since the drop ship, hell- This whole world is just so horrible and painful and terrible but somehow-“ 

“Real cheerful” He says under his breath.

“Shut up!” She says cracking up. “Youmake it better.”

“I make what better?” As he realizes Clarke’s gotten much closer to him than where she was sitting before.

“Everything.” Crap. She’s completely filter less now. It’s the truth though, and he deserves to know that.

She’s staring so intensely into his eyes that, before he can catch himself, he’s running his fingers through the strand of golden hair that’s falling off the side of her hair, putting it behind her ear.

She feels something in her stomach tingle at the feeling of his touch. They’re so dangerously close right now... He thinks it might be the alcohol, but he swears she’s leaning towards him. He considers making up a excuse to leave, but before he can finish his thought...

She kisses him. 

It’s soft, sweet and short. Just to test the waters. She pulls away, and searches for his reaction. He looks... wrecked. She’s about to start apologizing. 

And then Bellamy kisses her.

This time it’s hard, deep and almost aggressive. Tongues tangled up and teeth colliding. It’s full of passion, hunger and something she can’t find the right words to describe. There’s no undoing is. No un-crossing the line. She was dooming him to her worst fear, but she couldn’t stop. Neither of them could. His hands had quickly found his way to her waist, hers were unable to move away from his chest and abdomen. He lifts her up to his bed and as she’s starting to take her shirt off, he pulls away.

“Are you sure?” They’re both drunk and stupid yet he’s still asking is she’s okay with it. She looks at him, eyes wild. Somehow she gathers herself a little and replies. “Yes. Are you?” And he’s back to kissing her. 

Their movements are sloppy as they try to take each other’s clothes off as quickly as they can, desperate for one another. But it’s not hornyness, it’s not about the sex in itself. It’s because it’s them. They need each other. And they’ve waited forever.

And it’s wrong, they both know it, it’s so, so wrong. But it feels so good. And once Bellamy’s inside of her, they officially can’t stop. She knows she’s gonna hate herself in the morning, and he’s aware that this most definitely will break his heart. 

But they don’t stop.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a short insight of what’s going on in their minds in the aftermath. Will try to make it longer next time!

When Clarke woke up the next morning in Bellamy’s bed, she genuinely wanted to disappear. 

_What did I do. What the hell did I do._

She finally had the courage to look at him, he was soundly sleeping beside her, messy dark curls covering his eyes. She’d never seen him in such peace, she thought as hot tears threatened her eyes. 

There was no undoing this.

And with that unbearable feeling causing a lump in her throat, she got dressed and left.

With her mom still in Polis, she was helping Jackson with medbay, who would always welcome her aid, specially now with people already feeling sick from radiation. Today, however, it was oddly empty.

Great. More time to overthink.

Sometimes, in quiet moments of solitude like this one, she would let herself imagine a life with him. A future, where she allowed herself to be loved by him. To let him in. But then reality would strike, and she’d come to the very painful realization that that could never happen. Ever. Not if she wanted him to live.

She kind of knew it for the first time when she couldn’t let him go to Mount Weather. Somewhere, in between the war, she had started to care. Deeply.

 _“Love is weakness.”_

She knew it again the moment ALIE called for him to be the next one tortured. To break _her_. 

_“Start with Bellamy Blake.”_

It was too late, she thought. They knew already that he was the key to breaking her open. And they were gonna kill him for it. Thank God they didn’t. But it was enough for her to realize...

Finn. Lexa. 

This thing would only end with one of them dead. So she couldn’t let him love her. But now, she had already crossed the line. She had screwed up _so_ badly. And for what? For a one night stand? She was so incredibly stupid. Still, she hoped beyond hope, that if she pushed him away, maybe he’d be angry enough to stop caring about her. To pretend like that night never happened. It had to be enough. 

——————————————————

When Bellamy woke up that morning, Clarke was already gone. 

Of course, he thought. It probably had taken her less than five seconds to start regretting it. 

He couldn’t believe that it actually happened. It wasn’t just one weird wet dream of his, it was real. Flashbacks started flooding his memory. Her pink lips moaning his name. The feeling of her nipples against his chest. Her nails buried in his back as they came. Him kissing her. It was all real. 

But none of it mattered because both of them were stupid drunk. 

God, how could he let that happen. If that moment was special to him, it probably wasn’t to Clarke given the way she took off as soon as she could. But what did he think was gonna happen? That she’d wake up cuddled up in his arms, and then they’d share pillow talk as the sun rose in horizon? No, it all happened in a way that wasn’t supposed to be, it was all wrong. It probably wasn’t even special to her. And there was nothing he could do about it. 

He detested feeling that way, how powerless she made him. He had never felt that way about anyone else. He was hopelessly, painfully, irretrievably, in love with her. And he was sure that that crushing realization was going to drive him to madness one day. 

But not today. Today, the world is still ending and he has a hunting party scheduled in a few. So regaining composure, he gets ready to leave. 

He’s about to join the team in the rovers until he figures he should at least give her a heads up. Maybe she didn’t see him the same way, but they were still friends and he doesn’t want her going crazy searching for him. He finds her in medbay, handling another radiation sick patient. 

“Clarke”. She turns around and almost instantly starts avoiding his eyes. “Hey, uh, I’m leaving.” He mutters.

“What?” Clarke’s eyes dart up. Had she scared him off that easy?

“Hunting party.”

“Oh.” She releases a breath. “Oh, okay.” She was almost glad, because right now she couldn’t bear to be near him. 

Bellamy expected no reaction yet somehow he’s still disappointed. “Okay, then... Bye.” As he turns around to leave. 

“Wait, Bellamy.” She doesn’t even know what she’s about to say. “Just, um, be careful. Roan’s people are out there.” 

“Yeah, always.” At least she’s worried about his well-being. And for how that’s enough. 

—————————————-————- 

When Bellamy’s radio goes silent, and the same with everyone else’s on the hunting team, Clarke starts to feel afraid. Something about it felt wrong... Monty tried to calm her down, and then her mind was occupied with the list fiasco. 

When Octavia arrived with the news that the Ice Nation was marching to Arkadia, she could feel the fear boiling up slowly... still she tried to remain calm... maybe they didn’t get him, maybe he escaped.

But finally, as her gut had told her, she felt her heart drop when she saw that it was indeed Bellamy (and Kane) taken hostage by Roan. 

It was happening all over again. 

Her worst fear.

He was gonna use him to get her to make a deal or he was gonna kill him. 

Roan was smart because, well, it worked. Half of the spots on Arkadia in exchange of Bellamy’s life. And to avoid a war of course. But it was once again clear in her mind, that if she didn’t stop it, theirs was story that would only end badly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I officially don’t know how many chapters I’m gonna do I kinda wanna remake all their season 4 scenes 😭? But the ending will be Praimfaya of course. ❤️  
> Next chapter’s the rover scene and the island scene before they get separated!!

**Author's Note:**

> I think I’m gonna make it three chapters, let me know if anyone wants to read the rest😁.


End file.
